This is a very stressed out me writing in here. I'm picking up from where I left off in the previous post about how my new job is keeping me busy. Way too busy for my husband's liking. In case you think I am slogging and working a 12 hour job, you are sadly mistaken. I still do only a normal 8 hour shift. It's the timing that is a bitch! I try and leave by 7 pm but most days there are so many small last minute requests, that is next to impossible to say "Sorry you are on your own" and just leave. Like tonight for instance. I was out of office by 7:15 pm, into an auto by 7:20 pm. I reached near ITC Grand Chola and it started pouring. My god! It rained like crazyyyy! To be honest, I enjoyed the auto ride, I liked putting my hand out, feeling the raindrops on my feet through the open auto. In my defense, we don't get to do this in Chennai very often! But I digress.
Anyway, I was at the Tidel Park signal by 7:45 pm. And that is it. The traffic had come to an absolute standstill. Not one inch of traffic seemed to be moving. There was no respite from the rain. So we wait and wait. Thankfully not one word from the auto guy. I was mentally prepared to pay him an extra 10 bucks. And then we moved. Slowly. We got stuck twice at the signal. And then finally it turned green and the auto wouldn't start. Lol. Fml! Seriously. We were first in line and you can imagine the honking behind us. Argh! I wished I could have just picked my bags and started walking. I really would have had it not been for my stupid heels. The auto guy got down, started pushing the auto and kept pushing. I felt sorry for him but I was too tired to volunteer. And then we moved to the other side. He tried his luck for another 10 minutes before it finally started. Phew. Off we sped again. This time I safely reached my destination aka home. I paid him(yes 10 bucks extra) and sped off home. The hubby was lounging in bed in his usual shorts and tee. I washed my hands, flung my dupatta and got to work in the kitchen. I had to quickly make dinner, did dishes, cleaned up the leftovers from morning, reorganized my work space in the kitchen - all this took me about 40 minutes totally. Around 10 minutes to 9, I called K to come eat. He came sulking. He ate. And then started the usual talk of why I couldn't come earlier, why am I coming late everyday etc etc. Off we went into another huge argument, fight or whatever you want to call it. It is so so pissing off. So so annoying. Honestly. I don't have the inclination nor the energy to fight. Really. I'm really wondering what to do.
According to him, I'm screwing up in all fronts. Home. And maybe work. So easy for him to judge no? After all, according to him, he is the one that does everything. And I do nothing.
I always thought my husband was different from the ordinary men -- that he would encourage me and be happy for me when I do well. Well I guess I was very wrong. Hmmmm. I may not be super woman but I know I am really pushing myself to ensure he is comfy. What's totally pissing off is that he does not acknowledge even 10% of the effort I put in. I know that in this entire life span of ours, I can never please him. And that is how it is probably meant to be.