Stressed!

This is a very stressed out me writing in here. I'm picking up from where I left off in the previous post about how my new job is keeping me busy. Way too busy for my husband's liking. In case you think I am slogging and working a 12 hour job, you are sadly mistaken. I still do only a normal 8 hour shift. It's the timing that is a bitch! I try and leave by 7 pm but most days there are so many small last minute requests, that is next to impossible to say "Sorry you are on your own" and just leave. Like tonight for instance. I was out of office by 7:15 pm, into an auto by 7:20 pm. I reached near ITC Grand Chola and it started pouring. My god! It rained like crazyyyy! To be honest, I enjoyed the auto ride, I liked putting my hand out, feeling the raindrops on my feet through the open auto. In my defense, we don't get to do this in Chennai very often! But I digress.

Anyway, I was at the Tidel Park signal by 7:45 pm. And that is it. The traffic had come to an absolute standstill. Not one inch of traffic seemed to be moving. There was no respite from the rain. So we wait and wait. Thankfully not one word from the auto guy. I was mentally prepared to pay him an extra 10 bucks. And then we moved. Slowly. We got stuck twice at the signal. And then finally it turned green and the auto wouldn't start. Lol. Fml! Seriously. We were first in line and you can imagine the honking behind us. Argh! I wished I could have just picked my bags and started walking. I really would have had it not been for my stupid heels. The auto guy got down, started pushing the auto and kept pushing. I felt sorry for him but I was too tired to volunteer. And then we moved to the other side. He tried his luck for another 10 minutes before it finally started. Phew. Off we sped again. This time I safely reached my destination aka home. I paid him(yes 10 bucks extra) and sped off home. The hubby was lounging in bed in his usual shorts and tee. I washed my hands, flung my dupatta and got to work in the kitchen. I had to quickly make dinner, did dishes, cleaned up the leftovers from morning, reorganized my work space in the kitchen - all this took me about 40 minutes totally. Around 10 minutes to 9, I called K to come eat. He came sulking. He ate. And then started the usual talk of why I couldn't come earlier, why am I coming late everyday etc etc. Off we went into another huge argument, fight or whatever you want to call it. It is so so pissing off. So so annoying. Honestly. I don't have the inclination nor the energy to fight. Really. I'm really  wondering what to do. 

According to him, I'm screwing up in all fronts. Home. And maybe work. So easy for him to judge no? After all, according to him, he is the one that does everything. And I do nothing. 

I always thought my husband was different from the ordinary men -- that he would encourage me and be happy for me when I do well. Well I guess I was very wrong. Hmmmm. I may not be super woman but I know I am really pushing myself to ensure he is comfy. What's totally pissing off is that he does not acknowledge even 10% of the effort I put in. I know that in this entire life span of ours, I can never please him. And that is how it is probably meant to be. 

Yet another rant!

I've ranted enough and more about the terrible attitude of most drivers. They completely lack discipline. I'd ranted  here and am proud to say I am keeping up with the resolution. I'd also ranted here. However, nothing has changed as far as the others are concerned. Idiots will always be idiots. Last night on his way back from work, K picked me up and we were on our way back home. We were the first ones at the signal on the extreme right. This particular signal does not allow a right turn nor does it allow motorists to make a U -turn. The only option is to head straight or turn left. Simple enough no? Of course not. Mr. Impatient, a random biker stops right behind us at the signal and kept honking incessantly for 2 minutes. And then stopped on realizing that K wasn't going to move an inch. And then he keeps accelerating. Again K didn't budge. Finally, the idiot comes and rams our car(very slightly, but most definitely hit us). That did it. My husband unbuckled his seat belt all ready to go slam the idiot. Now is a good idea to briefly describe my hubs "the driver". He is impatient but not on the road. He is a very conscientious driver. Follows rules to the T. That being said, he hammers those who fail to. Like really gives them more than a mouthful. Naturally he was beyond pissed with this man. But I stopped K from getting out of the car for 2 reasons :
a) I was sure nothing had happened to the car. It was a very minor hit.
b) I turned around to see the guy and he was mouthing something which seemed like "very sorry". (I swear it seemed that way!). So I convinced K from not reacting. By this time, the signal turned green and we head straight. Mr Impatient vrooms past us and makes a u turn past the signal, down the road(where it is legally allowed) and starts swearing at K! By the time K got the windows down to blast him, he was gone. In a flash. Can you imagine what followed? Sigh. I got the blasting of my lifetime for not letting K deal with him in his usual style. I was also fuming. I'm such an idiot. I wished that moron had gotten a taste of K's language last night. He more than deserved it. In fact I was so furious that I pretty much wished he'd go die somewhere! Argh. Idiots. The world will definitely be a better place without these idiots with loads of bad attitude. Sorry K! 

Neighbor Woes

This is more of a rant. K had been bugging the hell out of me to make my own dosa and idli batter ever since we got married. I didn't bother since Amma and my MIL would supply me every weekend. And then one day we happened to have a huge argument around it and I decided that enough was enough. I'd try to make my own batter. It wasn't rocket science according to all the zillion food blogs on the Internet. Except they all had measurements for making batter in a grinder whereas I was going to try mine on the mixie. That's when I decided I would ask my neighbor Maami who is very friendly. I met her one evening when she sat with 2 other ladies from the building. I greeted her and ranted about how K was being a pain and bugging me to make batter and how stressed out I was. One of the ladies had just moved into our building and "volunteered" to come home the next day and help me grind. I quickly said "No thank you so much for offering but I think I will manage". But she was pushy and Maami also insisted I take her help so I finally said ok. Next day she came home and very patiently made the batter and gave me tips on how to do it next time. I thanked her and gave her some juice. I thought she would leave then but no she went and perched herself on our couch. Sigh. This was going to be a long evening. She started talking about how hot it was in Chennai, how hot it especially was in the 4th floor, how she missed being in Coimbatore, Hyderabad etc. She just went on talking. Thankfully for me, K got back from work just then and she said she'd leave. Phew. Well the idlis and dosas came out very well. That weekend I decided I'd go inform her and take a little something. So I went with a dabba of cake. Spoke to her daughter for 5 min and got back home. 1 week later, around 8pm this lady rang the bell. I opened the door and she gave me the dabba. I took it and I was hoping she would leave because I was busy making dinner. She pushed her way inside(I swear she did!) and sat on the couch and start talking away. Then she got up walked into the kitchen, the service area and went on about how her house owner hadn't planned their house properly. Then she walked into the guest room, the balcony and again went on saying "Oh the woodwork in your house is so good". Then she had the bloody nerve to open the door to our bedroom, happily switched on the light, looked at each cupboard and the balcony and again kept cribbing about how their house had none of it. She asked me how rent we paid, what woodwork we had made, how much we paid for our TV. Oh god. She just went on and on and on. I wished she would shut up! Such an irritating lady. I wanted to ask her if she was so freaking unhappy with her house why on earth did she choose to live in it? K rescued me once again by coming home just then but this time she wasn't ready to leave. After about 20 minutes, she decided to leave saying "Ok I will leave, I don't want to disturb you". Oh really. I haven't had to see her after that. Thank God for small mercies. 

*Disturbia*

There have been a few "incidents" in the last one month that has left me wondering where our country is really headed. They are simple things but left such an impact on me nevertheless.
Scene 1 - At Chennai airport
It is 11:30 pm. K and I had just returned from our trip to Delhi(was great fun,btw!). I was standing in line to get my cab and K was standing away in a corner. There was this dude(hereby referred to as "moron")  all dressed up formally in a business suit. He goes near K and SPITS right next to him. Now those of you who my husband can guess what follows :) He blew his top! And rightly so. Here's how the conversation went
K - (furiously) - Excuse me, what do you think you are doing?? Aren't you ashamed?
Moron - (Nonchalantly) - Well everybody else is doing it! Why are you asking only me?
K - (Raising his voice) - Well you seem educated! Don't you have any sense not to spit in public? Plus you are spitting right near me! And I of course have a problem with that!

Well basically moron didn't want to admit it but honestly it was so embarrassing for him because by now everybody was staring at him. Yes my husband can be VERY loud! I panicked because I had no idea what had happened. But when K explained I wished he could have actually slapped that idiot. Honestly man, get a grip on yourself, wherever you are!

Scene 2 - Sathyam Cinemas
K and I watched Vishwaroopam this weekend. The theatre is full(Saturday evening). Most of the families had come with KIDS. Mind you, it is an Adults movie, lots of violence and gore. I don't understand how parents can actually think of bringing those tiny tots to such a movie and how theatres don't even object.
But anyway, there were kids in front of us and at the back row as well. The kid in front wouldn't sit quiet for a minute. He was probably around 3 or 4, obviously he wants to explore. The mother tried her best to get him to sit quietly but no such luck. Finally, she grabbed him and took him outside. Good girl. Now there are about 4 kids sitting at the back. And they kept pushing my seat. I was trying to be patient. But they just wouldn't listen. I'm turning and giving looks at the mother(she is too engrossed with the movie to notice my glares). Good thing is I had watched the film earlier. It was K who was watching it for the first time. And then it reached a point where the kids started screaming. High pitched squeals! K lost it. He got up and turned to the mother and said "Excuse me, can you please keep your kids under control"? The lady just called to her kids and simply said "please come sit here quietly". YEAH RIGHT. They are kids for God's sake, woman! They went on screaming and K got up again and this time in a very menacing tone said " Listen, if you don't get those kids to shut up, I'm going to get the management to throw you guys out"! That probably did it. Coz you will not believe, that lady finally got her act together and ensured her kids shut up for the rest of film. Not one word came out! Phew. My point is I'm not blaming the kids. But if you can't control them, take them outside the movie hall or get them to behave. As simple as that. And please definitely don't take them for such noisy and violent movies. Even my 10 year cousin wasn't allowed to watch it at home. Not appropriate for him. Simple no?

Scene 3 - LB Road(A very busy road in Chennai)
K and I are returning home. At the junction, there is a cop vehicle coming in exactly the wrong direction. Due to which traffic is held up for a few seconds. Cars simply give way. My hubby was the only one who stopped the gypsy and showed his finger to the cop. Ok not finger but he made it obvious to the cop(s) sitting in the Innova that it was simply unacceptable and shocking that a cop(who is supposed to tell others to follow rules) is happily breaking one and holding up traffic because he was too lazy  to make a U turn. Shocking no? The cops were a little shocked but of course in true Chennai police style, glared back threateningly. I was a little scared because I had heard stories of how they take away your car keys and slap you. But then I was proud of my  hubby for standing up to those goons. I wish I could have taken a picture of that van and posted it on the Chennai City Traffic Police page and made a mockery of them. But like I said, it was a busy road and I had no such luck. Sigh. Pissed me off so so so much.
God save this country. Ok I'm done ranting. On that note, February was super super busy. My bestie, M got married. Yay! Congrats! Another friend, Shan, got engaged. Yahoo! And then K and I took off to Delhi for his cousin's wedding which was also great fun. Bread pakodas, masala chai, samosa, kachori all at 6 degree weather. Blissful combination, no? :-)

Hope you like my new template, too bad if you don't. I don't care. I am bored as hell and pissed off and came straight here. The pink was too cheerful for my liking and hence the deep red.
Just had a terrible fight with K. Sunday evening, he said he was "stepping out". Good for me. I don't care when he comes back, I am not making dinner.

Thoughts

I'm not superwoman - just wanna make that clear out here. Heck, I am entitled to make mistakes!
Sometimes I just wonder what big crime is it that I committed? I cannot and will not entirely change the kind of person that I am.

I AM ME! 

Grumpiness

He wasn't around this morning when I woke up, he wasn't around when I was getting ready for work, he wasn't around on my way to work ... the house is quiet, lonely and eerie. Waaaahhhhhh..... K is on his first official trip this weekend and me not liking it. One bit. I am sad, grumpy and irritable. Can u please hurry up and come back to me, please? 

3 days and counting..

Now that the D-day is so close, I'm actually beginning to feel the emotions.. It is scaring the heck out of me.. 3 days to go!!! :(

Jeez, I'm so lucky!

Just when I had made full plans to go have fun during Diwali, my store manager puts up this notice which says "no requests off granted during the weekend of 17th/18th"... Oh, just my luck aint it?!? I even planned on the kurti that I was going to wear that night!! Suckss!!!! I just hate it! Maybe I should call in sick! Or better still, say I'm dead!
PS. Happy budday Sne.. and to Mosh on the 6th.. Enjoy ur days! :)

Blah..

I've noticed that talking to certain people can make me feel pretty lousy no matter what a great mood I've been in before that!! Urghhh!! I need to stop talking to these morons...!! With my mood swings these days, they better watch out! :P

=(

All I wanna do right now is to book a one-way ticket to Chennai and never come back to this land again!! Am I asking for too much?!? I miss home, my parents, family!! =(

How do I manage to hurt people like this when I dont intend doing it at all?? I think thats my specialty area when it comes to relationships!! :-( I hate breakups!! I truly do!!! :-(

Rant!!

I woke up this morning with a "not-so-happy" text message from my Uncle in India. He said that my grandma had a fall and had fractured her hip bone!! I called my Dad immediately and he said that she was going to be fine.. It was just a minor hair line fracture.. I was relieved.
But this got me thinking.. I mean, when I first knew about it, I had this feeling of helplessness.. there was nothing I could do... I love my grandparents from both sides and I still have all four of them alive and kicking.. :-)
Coming back to how I felt... If I was at home, I would have rushed to see her and spent the day entertaining her and making sure she was feeling better and loved.. Sure, my cousins are all back home. But the feeling I had is sort of hard to explain.. It was a feeling of helplessness, misery, and homesickness sort of combined together!! I started thinking to myself if my decision to stay here for a while was a good one... Staying away from home, especially someone sooo attached to family is extremely tough!! In a strange way, I felt guilty about being so far away from her when she needed me.. She has done so much for me in my life and all the money that I eventually earn here will never be able to compensate her love for me!!
Sorry for getting all mushy there... but it got me thinking...
I know that once I get busy with other things, this incident will pass by... but I am just doing what Im best at.."ranting"... :-)
On another note, am leaving to Atlanta and St. Louis this weekend!! U know, I simply CANNOT wait to leave this place.. Am soo bored of being here without taking a break! Could do with some good family time... The folks from home are bringing back some goodies for me too :-) Cant wait to lay my hands on them!! I would love to visit the STL Zoo.. I absolutely love it!! Only thing is, I might have to do it all by myself.. I dont care though! I think its one of the best Zoo's in the country! Will write a whole separate post on that.
Tomorrow's graduation at MSU.. Cant believe that its been a year since a couple of my good friends graduated and left Springfield.. Man, talk about time flying!! I am excited to wear my new top.. which..ummm.. I bought at the mall last night and for which I still haven't forgiven myself! :-( Its sooo hard! I think I've been good these four months and I really deserved to get one!! Will put up some pics of it.. Happy Friday!! :)