Stressed!

This is a very stressed out me writing in here. I'm picking up from where I left off in the previous post about how my new job is keeping me busy. Way too busy for my husband's liking. In case you think I am slogging and working a 12 hour job, you are sadly mistaken. I still do only a normal 8 hour shift. It's the timing that is a bitch! I try and leave by 7 pm but most days there are so many small last minute requests, that is next to impossible to say "Sorry you are on your own" and just leave. Like tonight for instance. I was out of office by 7:15 pm, into an auto by 7:20 pm. I reached near ITC Grand Chola and it started pouring. My god! It rained like crazyyyy! To be honest, I enjoyed the auto ride, I liked putting my hand out, feeling the raindrops on my feet through the open auto. In my defense, we don't get to do this in Chennai very often! But I digress.

Anyway, I was at the Tidel Park signal by 7:45 pm. And that is it. The traffic had come to an absolute standstill. Not one inch of traffic seemed to be moving. There was no respite from the rain. So we wait and wait. Thankfully not one word from the auto guy. I was mentally prepared to pay him an extra 10 bucks. And then we moved. Slowly. We got stuck twice at the signal. And then finally it turned green and the auto wouldn't start. Lol. Fml! Seriously. We were first in line and you can imagine the honking behind us. Argh! I wished I could have just picked my bags and started walking. I really would have had it not been for my stupid heels. The auto guy got down, started pushing the auto and kept pushing. I felt sorry for him but I was too tired to volunteer. And then we moved to the other side. He tried his luck for another 10 minutes before it finally started. Phew. Off we sped again. This time I safely reached my destination aka home. I paid him(yes 10 bucks extra) and sped off home. The hubby was lounging in bed in his usual shorts and tee. I washed my hands, flung my dupatta and got to work in the kitchen. I had to quickly make dinner, did dishes, cleaned up the leftovers from morning, reorganized my work space in the kitchen - all this took me about 40 minutes totally. Around 10 minutes to 9, I called K to come eat. He came sulking. He ate. And then started the usual talk of why I couldn't come earlier, why am I coming late everyday etc etc. Off we went into another huge argument, fight or whatever you want to call it. It is so so pissing off. So so annoying. Honestly. I don't have the inclination nor the energy to fight. Really. I'm really  wondering what to do. 

According to him, I'm screwing up in all fronts. Home. And maybe work. So easy for him to judge no? After all, according to him, he is the one that does everything. And I do nothing. 

I always thought my husband was different from the ordinary men -- that he would encourage me and be happy for me when I do well. Well I guess I was very wrong. Hmmmm. I may not be super woman but I know I am really pushing myself to ensure he is comfy. What's totally pissing off is that he does not acknowledge even 10% of the effort I put in. I know that in this entire life span of ours, I can never please him. And that is how it is probably meant to be. 

Busy bee

I've missed this space so much. But life has been keeping me way too busy this past month and a half. To start with, in the end of July I interviewed with a company for an HR position and to my absolute delight, I got the job. It is a start up so the company culture is still evolving. But I've finished more than a month now. I'm slowly settling in. Work is very exciting no doubt but very very demanding as well. Since most employees come only in the night shift, I tend to get pulled into lots of last minute meetings. But as a rule, I leave work by 7 pm. Which means I get home by 7:45 pm. Which means I need to semi cook dinner in the morning. Which means lots of planning. Which means grocery and vegetable shopping over the weekends. Which means no breathing space. Sigh. This is the busiest I've been in a long long time. Its too early to tell but so far all well. The people at work are nice. Lots of youngsters. And oh I have a boy to assist me with recruitment and interviews. Very cool stuff! :) Wish me luck and send some good wishes my way.

Before I started work, the end of July, K's friends and the families took a small road trip to Yelagiri, a nearby hill station which has absolutely nothing to do :) It's that sort of place where you just drive and drive and just chill. K of course took some lovely pictures and freaked out! It was good fun to watch each other getting drunk, chatting, eating junk and just catching up on each other's lives. Good times!

August was chugging along nicely until she threw me a nasty surprise. I lost my dear grandmother,Thathi. It was a rude shock and one that I've barely come to terms with. It all happened all too suddenly. That's another reason why I've not been able to blog. Weekends have been busy with rituals and planning for the upcoming week.

Sneha and Deepak celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary on the 27th! They were holidaying in Goa and a few of us decided to surprise them. So we sent them flowers with a small note. There were overjoyed. Little pleasures of life :) I wish them many more years of togetherness, laughter and everlasting love! Congratulations both of you :)

Ok I wish I could keep writing. It keeps me so relaxed. But I gtg now! Need to get my beauty sleep. Off I go. Until my next post.. Stay well dearies.

To the bestest paal paysam maker ever! RIP Thathi =(

My dearest Thathi,

I've opened this page a 100 times and I'm unable to write anything sensible. Too many emotions running through me. All I want to say is that you've left behind such a big void, its going to be very very difficult for someone to fill in your shoes. I'm so relieved you had such a peaceful end.. no hospital visits, no doctors.. nothing. A person like you deserved an end like that. You made so many people happy.. you were so generous with money, you fed a zillion hungry people(including me!) and you were so full of life. No wonder then so many people mourned along with the rest of us. It was very painful to watch Thatha crying the day you left us. He was, like the rest of us, in a state of extreme shock. He doubts he will ever be able to cope with your loss. And I agree. Because you spent all your life looking after him and feeding him all his favorite delicacies. Apart from running the house, taking care of your 4 precious daughters, and of course being a loving grandmother to all of us brats! We have the bestest of memories at Achala Vihar!! Growing up with you & Thatha was so amazing. You gave us so much freedom. I remember we hated leaving you guys and going home with our respective parents. I am happy that we recently celebrated your 76th birthday with a grand dinner with all your favorite people around. Just how you like it!

I'll remember that smiling face of yours forever. But visits to the Nest won't ever be the same again. We miss you tons. That's an understatement. Wherever you are, I hope you are in safe hands. And yes I more than hope you keep that smile alive :-) Thanks Thathi. For your unending help and support through the years. Rest in peace. Love, Aishu

PS I really tried writing more. Too many clouded thoughts. Sorry. 

Masterchef! NOT!

My kitchen woes continue. A few laughs to start off your Monday morning :)
December, 2012 
My husband loves his South Indian breakfast. I once took a huge risk and sent Idly for lunch. I ensured I never ever made that mistake again :(

Me : Hi sweety, how was lunch? Was it ok?
K: Please send this to the protesters at Delhi. Will be useful. (In case you didn't get it.. he meant my idlies were hard as rocks!)

June 2013 
I was stepping out with friends and decided to make Corn Pulao for my husband's dinner which is one of his favorite dishes. He sent me a text message around 9:30 pm. This is what it really said :
"Horribly insipid dinner. Had to add chaat masala. Give me this food when I'm on my death bed. Will die faster from the lack of  any taste. Nice dining this Sunday. "

Last night
K: Aishu, I know we are finishing left overs for dinner tonight. But please don't expect me to eat that Kathrikai subzi. I hate that thing. Like how the Jews hate the Nazis!

Me:  Speechless

Time for some damage contLol! Not much has changed in this household. Sigh. #damagecontrol #Epicfail

Yet another rant!

I've ranted enough and more about the terrible attitude of most drivers. They completely lack discipline. I'd ranted  here and am proud to say I am keeping up with the resolution. I'd also ranted here. However, nothing has changed as far as the others are concerned. Idiots will always be idiots. Last night on his way back from work, K picked me up and we were on our way back home. We were the first ones at the signal on the extreme right. This particular signal does not allow a right turn nor does it allow motorists to make a U -turn. The only option is to head straight or turn left. Simple enough no? Of course not. Mr. Impatient, a random biker stops right behind us at the signal and kept honking incessantly for 2 minutes. And then stopped on realizing that K wasn't going to move an inch. And then he keeps accelerating. Again K didn't budge. Finally, the idiot comes and rams our car(very slightly, but most definitely hit us). That did it. My husband unbuckled his seat belt all ready to go slam the idiot. Now is a good idea to briefly describe my hubs "the driver". He is impatient but not on the road. He is a very conscientious driver. Follows rules to the T. That being said, he hammers those who fail to. Like really gives them more than a mouthful. Naturally he was beyond pissed with this man. But I stopped K from getting out of the car for 2 reasons :
a) I was sure nothing had happened to the car. It was a very minor hit.
b) I turned around to see the guy and he was mouthing something which seemed like "very sorry". (I swear it seemed that way!). So I convinced K from not reacting. By this time, the signal turned green and we head straight. Mr Impatient vrooms past us and makes a u turn past the signal, down the road(where it is legally allowed) and starts swearing at K! By the time K got the windows down to blast him, he was gone. In a flash. Can you imagine what followed? Sigh. I got the blasting of my lifetime for not letting K deal with him in his usual style. I was also fuming. I'm such an idiot. I wished that moron had gotten a taste of K's language last night. He more than deserved it. In fact I was so furious that I pretty much wished he'd go die somewhere! Argh. Idiots. The world will definitely be a better place without these idiots with loads of bad attitude. Sorry K! 

June - Part II(The not so good stuff)

Continued from here... 

Post the in laws' anniversary, I geared up for Shan's wedding which was on the 23rd. Now, I missed most of my good friends' weddings since I was away in the US. So I was damn excited when Shan was getting married coz it meant some fun times with my college friends. Needless to say, I went a little crazy. I love weddings. And everything that comes with it. It started with her bachelorette first. We surprised her at home, we picked "red" as the theme, got ourselves eye masks, she popped some champagne and off we went to Illusions to celebrate. Was good fun but we didn't do anything "crazy". Then her sister was throwing a surprise "bridal shower". Yes. Don't ask me what the difference is. But it was good fun too. Basically, she had completely decorated a room in their house, we took along pics of us with Shan, we cut cake, we played some games, and made the bride laugh a lot. The groom also came in the end, which was a cute surprise indeed. Then there was her Mehendi 1 day before the wedding. Again, lots of girls gathered at her house. Clicked tons and tons of pics. By this time my hubby was completely annoyed. He felt I was going for too many functions and not spending time at home and specifically with him because all these happened over weekends. Now when he is pissed, he sulks. He sulks some more. And keeps on sulking. He won't speak. He won't tell me why he is pissed. I'm expected to read his mind. Honestly, I didn't have the time to read the signs. Like I said I was too busy socializing. Next day morning was the wedding and then in the evening was the reception. Nope. We are not done yet. The finale was the cocktail party at Blend. For which I went too. And that pretty much did it. K was super pissed. Like "I didn't think he was going to spare me alive" kinda pissed. He accused me of ignoring him, ignoring my chores around the house and said I didn't know to "balance" it out.  Maybe this is a good time to explain why we kinda clash so much. Let me tell you briefly about our personalities. I'm very outgoing, I love people and I cannot survive without socializing with people. I grab any opportunity I get to go out and socialize(not necessarily a party person, I love to just catch up with friends even if its just coffee!). My darling husband is the complete opposite. He likes everything to be low-key, has a few but good trusted friends and will avoid people as much as possible. Nothing wrong with that.  I'm someone that needs lots of space. Like LOTS and LOTS of it. I'm not clingy. In fact, I panic and get very uncomfortable if someone gets too clingy with me. Don't ask me why. I'm just like that! My hubs, on the other hand,  isn't usually clingy but eventually gets there thanks to me.  I guess its the effect I have on him. I am not very expressive or overly romantic. Ok I'll admit. I'm the least romantic person I think :-( He reaches a stage where he seeks reassurance and if I'm not around then, god forbid what can happen! He unleashes his wrath. One thing I wish to learn from him is to control my tongue during a fight. Its next to impossible for me. I say stuff, I bellow like an idiot. He usually keeps shut. That's his way of rebelling. But this time, even he lashed out. We both lashed out at each other. It just turned very very ugly. Urgh. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I still don't know who was wrong, whether it could have been avoided etc. But then we did end up fighting a lot. It took away all the fun I had during all the weddings. I wished things were different and we didn't end up saying all those things(at least I wish). But then I cannot turn back time. Every day was like that. He would crib about everything - food, things around the house, me in general! It was so so so annoying. I wished he wouldn't seek perfection in every single aspect. If there's one thing I want to change in him, its that! I'm nowhere close to it. #lesigh.

To be continued...

June - Part I(The good stuff)

Oh dear. Where has the month of June flown by?! But I will tell you -  I don't miss her one bit coz June was a bitch! Yup. I was busy. Social events took up all my time. Bridal showers, bachelorettes, mehendi/sangeet, cocktails, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays and the likes. Let me start with the nicer things that happened.
The month started with K turning a year older. It came on a Saturday so I spent the entire day with him. I gave him a picture of a Buddha and wooden chimes, both of which he's been wanting for a very long time. The day started as usual with a visit to the temple. My folks and K's dad were not in town, so we didn't have to hang around with either of the fams much to his delight. I announced that kitchen would be closed for the day and that all meals will be out! :P We had yumm idli, dosa, vadas for breakfast. We then drove to see my grandmother and spent some time with her. Then we came home, lazed around, watched TV etc by which time his friends, Vandy & Vivek called and said they wanted us to meet them for lunch. Off we drove to Vivek's office, hung around and waited for more folks to show up. Then a big gang of us went to Benjarong, one of our favorite restaurants in town! The Tom Yum soup is to die for! One of his friends, Balls(who btw is over 45 I think!) is a great sport and super funny! He can go on making me laugh! After a full meal of soup, rice, noodles and fried ice cream, we decided to come back home. But I somehow felt that an element of surprise was much needed. So I called K's other set of friends(yes he has quite a few of them!) and asked the 2 couples if they would like to come home in the evening and surprise him. I planned to call them over and order some pizzas for dinner. Unfortunately, Deva & Vids couldn't come because it was his parents' anniversary as well, so they opted out. I still went ahead and convinced CP & Suds to come. This was the plan -
Me: Suds & Ceeps, buzz me when you are near LB Road signal. I will ensure the door is kept open. You guys just barge in and surprise him.
S & C: Ok.
20 min later...
S & C: Hey, we are near your house. Another 5 min away.
Me: Err. Ok there is a problem. My husband is still sleeping and he isn't exactly dressed very well! What do I do? He refuses to wake up! Ok never mind. U guys come and call me.
5 min later...
S&C: Hey. We are down. Can we come up?
Me: Hmm. Ok. He is still plonked in bed. Do one thing. Ring the bell. I'll send him to open it. And then you guys surprise him.
They ring the bell. And I decide to open because he is not getting out of bed.
I open the door slowly and show my face. I see 2 very very excited faces hiding in the sides, ready to pounce on me saying "Surprise"!! Thankfully I quickly get them to shut up!! They are super duper pissed. Haha. It was hilarious.
Me: Ok here's the deal. I'm going to go back and tell him, 2nd floor uncle is here to speak. Once he comes, you guys surprise him.
S & C: Nod their heads gingerly.. as they are not sure of my plan!
Well in the end, it did all work out fine. K was surprised!! Yay! Phew. Mission accomplished. We ended up creeping ourselves out by watching Pizza and ordering from Papa Johns. Great way to end the birthday indeed!
Once K's birthday finished, I got busy with 2 other events. The first one was my very good friend, Esther's wedding. I've known Esther from MBA days. She was my first room mate and we never hit it off. But over the years, we got to know each other so so well. She's a real darling and I was so so happy that she got married to someone very sweet, at least Cecil seemed to be! :D Congrats and all the best guys! =)
June 14th also happened to be my in laws 40th wedding anniversary. Ooh. Sexy no? Obviously it called for a celebration of sorts. My sister in law was also in town that weekend. So Saturday, the 5 of us(her hubs couldn't join as he was in training) went to Dakshin at Park Sheraton to celebrate. I made a scrap book of sorts for them where I got everybody else across the country to send in messages for them. Thanks a ton Sudha, Sunil, Malati Chitti, Usha Perima, Vidu, Manasi and the rest of the gang for the uber cool messages, pics and the poem. They absolutely loved it! Basically I went in chronological order.. starting with their marriage, pics of the kids, pics of extended family with their respective messages etc. Was hard work but was totally worth. I wish them happiness, good health and peace of mind in the years to come :) Lunch at Dakshin was fab! I loved the different chutneys and the food in general. Cool stuff. A very memorable anniversary indeed.

To Be Continued....